what if you started making car alarm noises when people you didn’t like touched you
hickeys are beautiful because they are the only time a bruise results from love and affection rather than harm
why was he always so happy whenever he got arrested
because he had a thing for men in uniforms touching him
why do greek gods have to fuck up so much shit god damn just stay on your mountain and eat your fucking ambrosia and leave people alone
and stop having sex with things you are not supposed to have sex with
we’re all looking at you here zeus
Too bad Zeus didn’t think to invent condoms. Shoulda asked the Trojans.
IT’S JUST RECIPES FOR BIG CANDY.
ARE YOU SEEING THIS?
HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL CREATION OF MANKIND
THIS IS A ROLO THE SIZE OF A FUCKING BIRTHDAY CAKE AND IF THAT’S NOT THE TIGHTEST SHIT EVER THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE
PIMP THAT SNACK
JUST FUCKING DO IT.
I wonder if they have something for Oreos.
don’t let perchu see this